sotto voce

I’m seriously jinxed.

I’ve been known to laugh derisively at people (read: country bumpkins) who suggest that city life is dangerous. "Nonsense," I told them. To back up my contentious claim, I told these people that Andrew and I never locked our doors, and sometimes we left the car unlocked overnight. My bike had been chilling on our porch unguarded and unsecured to any structure. And although bum-encounter (ie. when a hobo approaches you asking for some "change" – makes you wonder if they support Obama) is inevitable, we can still walk around the neighborhood safely, even at night.

But every time I told someone that my city is safe, something always happened. Something bad, that is.

The first time I dismissed it as pure bad luck. My coworker was asking me about parking in the city, and I told him: No problem. I have off-street parking, and street parking isn’t that bad either as long as you know how to parallel-park. That same night, my sidelight was smashed by some hooligans during dinner, and I didn’t even notice it until the next morning when the same coworker pointed to the light and asked, "What happened?". I shyly told him that my street-parked car became a victim of city vandalism the night before.

The second time, one of my coworkers is looking to move to my city but feels unsafe to live in a city. I told her confidently that safety is not an issue at all. That same night, I was walking home from the grocery store and a Hispanic man in a box car parked on the side of the street catcalled me and asked for my name. I ignored him and continued walking. I figured that was a more civil response rather than flipping him the finger or shouting "go fuck yourself, a-hole". Well, unfortunately civil response doesn’t send the message clearly enough. As I walked away from him, he started the engine of his car and followed me around while pestering me for my name. "Just as friends" he begged. Is that sketchy or fuck??! I was pretty worried he’s gonna followed me home and do something to me, so I walked really slowly behind this old man. I know that the old man would probably be pretty useless against this young man, but at least I’d have a witness. Anyway,... I think the guy got tired and left, and I triple-checked before entering my apartment, to make sure he’s not around and doesn’t know where I live.

As if that’s not bad enough, last week I was talking to a friend online and when I told him I lived in Naneenoo (name of city where I live), he commented that from what he heard Naneenoo is a very very dangerous place. More dangerous than New York.
I told him: Ptui. NO Fuckin Way.
That same day, Andrew and I were in the room after work chilling and watching TV. As we’re slowly drifting into sleep, I heard this loud alarm and it took a full minute before I realized it was our car alarm. I woke Andrew up and he quickly ran out of the door wearing nothing but his manly fur. I seriously thought it was just someone accidentally bumping into our car and took my own sweet time before I went downstairs with Andrew’s shorts. I didn’t find him anywhere in the parking lot, because he is chasing the person who tried to steal my car down the street. In all his naked glory. I checked out the car (which is still in the parking lot) and found that all the locks are fucked up and one of the back window was removed. I’m guessing that this idiot tried to pick the lock, rather unsuccessfully and then decided to take out the back window and open the back door. Unfortunately for him (it could be a girl but I highly doubt it), we have a very very sensitive alarm and our left car door doesn’t work. So even after removing the window and unlocking the car, the door still can’t be opened.

Anyway, I was thankful the car is not stolen and still didn’t think Naneenoo is a crime jungle, until some fucker stole my freakin bike from the porch. This is the porch that’s connected to the fire escape and is on the third floor, and is connected to the kitchen. The thief had enough guts to walk up three flights of stairs onto the porch to take my bike even though there’s a likelihood that we walk into the kitchen and caught him in action. URGH< I'm pisseddddd as helll..... I didn't leave the bike more than three hours and someone just snatched it like that, from OUR FUCKING PORCH!!

Argh. Anyway, now I’ve learnt my lesson. It’s a dangerous crime-infested city I’m living in and I’m not leaving anything unlocked anymore.  And I’m not gonna argue with anyone who says that city-life is dangerous. It is fucking dangerous. Bloody hell.