sotto voce

if there’s something i want really really badly right now, is the cure to insect bites (swing fist at mosquitoes and sandflies). i literally have tonnes of insect bites bumps all over me, including my face. and i have to exert ridiculous amount of self control to stop myself from scratching them until they bleed.

i think my period is coming because i’ve been pretty cranky today.
loud boisterous and obnoxious drunkards pissed me off, people who make a big deal out of small duties pissed me off.
as much as i love my friends, their college kids behavior just convinces me that i do need to get out of college soon.
i guess drinking for the sake of getting drunk is just not my cup o’tea and it’s hard to communicate with drunk people. it’s like fucking someone who’s high when you’re sober. not fun at all.

oh well, i’m just really tired. i don’t know anymore how long i stayed in the water today. probably i went beyond the safety limit coz i do feel a lil’ bit wonky right now.

sigh… i know i shdn’t be saying this, but i’m ready to go back. 

£5000 in £10 and £20 notes were individually dropped around the streets of London with a removable sticker that read, Carlsberg don’t do litter. But if they did it would probably be the best litter in the world’.

Advertising Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, London, UK
Executive Creative Director: Kate Stanners
Creative Directors: Richard Denney, Dave Henderson
Creatives: Rob Porteous, Dave Askwith
Via: bestadsontv

 THAT is fucking unbelievable…
i mean… theoretically there’s no difference in giving people 5000pounds of cash and spending that money on lucky draws and such.. even better, more people are actually getting the money than one person who wins everything.
still… i can’t believe saatchi is pulling this kind of trick. coz honestly, i don’t think i’ll remember it’s carlsberg that drops money from the sky in a couple month’s time.

hello from the caribbean.

it’s extremely humid down here and i finally know that all my freaking-out moments weeks before this trip were fucking legitimate. doing research dive is fucking shit with its uncertainties, danger, etc. etc.

but what to do,... just got to be brave and strong. =(

so in the meantime, check my adventure in st.croix on beachmonkey(dot)wordpress(dot)com

18 is young, 50 is old.
what about 22 ?

it’s a ripe age to start your career, live in the most hectic cities in the world, travel to exciting places, meet all the strange people, make all the mistakes you can’t do in the future.

but it can also be the right time for you to settle down.

an old friend i haven’t seen in 8 yrs called me last night and we talked about all the people we left behind. some of them are married, having kids, moving to other countries, and one just passed away in an accident.

life is short, people…
too short for me to just sit and wait for another 6 months in college, getting drunk and getting laid, when i’ve learnt everything i need to learn and experienced everything i need to experience.
it’s time for me to get out of this place. pierce this god-forsaken bubble of a place and be in touch with the real world – cruel as it may be.

now, if only someone can just give me a job…. 

so i had my first real schmoozing with an alum, who happened to work for this ad behemoth i want to work for. seriously i didn’t know how it went..
according to someone i knew, who went through the same process i did, "it’s a matter of chemistry". i.e. they’ll only hire you if they think you fit the company’s culture.
the thing is, this alum promised to help me ("i’ll put in a good word for you") and pass my resume around to the various accounts and HR people, but i don’t know how much of these promises is mere diplomacy or if they’re really an indication that he thinks i’m a fit.

although it will indeed be prestigious to work there (plus, i heard the training program is superb), personally i don’t think i fit a big ad-company. it reeks of bureaucracy, whereas i prefer to work in a more casual, familiar, and crazy setting. as someone i met put it: "more of the roll-up-your-sleeves-and-do-the-dirty-work feel" . and for some reason, i kinda feel that people are a tad superficial there. maybe i was just nervous, ... but i definitely need to look for smaller agencies and test the water at other places. although, i might just have to bank on this one a little more.
boo.

meanwhile, things are brighter on the other coast. b and i are finally able to straighten things out. let’s just say there’s no one better who can understand the extent of sacrifice required for the sake of ambition than me.

so here’s my post-breakup resolutions:

1. lose 10 pounds
2. graduate a semester early
3. write my senior essay in one sem
4. finish the research in one sem
   
5. be more serious with photography
6. get a job that i like for next year

pfft..
healthcare here is fucking crazy. guess how much i have to pay for a physical check-up. $85
what the fuck?
she only looks at me for five minutes and charges me that much
pissed off… coz i should’ve gotten it for free had i done it when school’s health center was still open.

recently i’ve been struck by this intense desire to radically change my life. i’ve been toying with the idea of deleting all my blogs, delete my facebook account, delete all my songs and start over, etc. etc.
and that’s why i want to get out of sch early because i desperately need to get out of this place. it has this noxious effect of sapping you dry, because it’s way too safe, my adrenaline level is barely detectable. admit it: college is a cushy bubble you live in. nothing you do has serious repercussions and four years of doing the motion over and over again is just way too much for me to handle. in short: it’s BORING.
yes, it is stressful… yes it can be interesting, but i need something new, something bigger, something that will rock my boat, throw me off my balance and bloody hell, i’m fucking old i can’t be in college anymore!

***

someone i know just commented in a very neutral tone about how people (read: white people) often say things like : "wow you speak english very well".

urmm… i heard that line a lot too and you know what, i think it’s a bloody racist and unintelligent thing to say.
i don’t mind if it’s just saying: "wow, you don’t have an accent". but saying that, just because i look asian that means i can’t speak english well is just idiotic and RACIST. so i’m pretty surprised to hear that someone can react so neutrally to such comment. is that naivete or stupidity?

or maybe i’m just too angry for my own good.